David Blaine Due to Drown in a Giant Bowl Filled Only With His Own Sense of Self-Importance; Morrissey

So, David Blaine, noted 'illusionist', has got a new 'illusion' which involves him being put in a bowl of water. I think it's about time for him to move on from all the death-defying tricks he's being doing, and start a new line of death-embracing stunts.

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At the Morrissey gig at Ally Pally yesterday (review: Pretty good, although he played too much off the new album) the King Bouncer came out to tell the assembled queue for the doors that in addition to the usual litany of drinks, cameras, etc. that aren't allowed into the venue, anyone found bringing burgers or other meat into the venue would be ejected, which was quite funny. I suspect it's his party piece, and a welcome break from beating people up and drinking Strongbow. We were also stood behind someone who had the great misfortune to look exactly like Wayne Rooney. I think he'd been a test subject on the ugly drugs trial, and there weren't no way he got the placebo. Yuk, he was U.G.L.Y and he didn't appear to have an alibi.