Well, It Makes a Change from Estate Agents' Glossy Magazines...

Two examples of the gold that drops through my letterbox each day. I like the idea of the man who finds the satelits - he's an alright guy. The sinister 'professor', however... I love his motto though. Must have been fun in the business card shop:

"OK, what can I put on there? Let's start off with bringing back the dead. Yeah, that's a good one. Oh yeah, and the rest. I've got a list here. I've got a bit more space you say, even with all of the many things that I can do, including careers advice, and undoing the work of my fellow charlatans (it'll get me in trouble with the United Guild of Scammers and Con People, but sod 'em, I say. When have they ever done anything for me)? Could you make the 'Your pain is my responsibility' a bit larger? And capitals? And italics? Cheers. I'll pick them up tomorrow. You don't know where I could find a satelit do you? I need a high signal good, you see. Oh well, worth a try."