Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Deadpan Conversations: The Semi-International Edition

(Scene: A bustling Post Office, in which the day before I had bought some Euros, and today was coming to buy some more)
Post Office Man: Hi.
Me: Hi.
POM: Euros?
Me: Oh. Yes please.
(We then deal with the mechanics of buying Euros, the dazzling thrills of which I will spare you.)
POM: They've gone down today. Yesterday it was 109 for £100, and today it's 110.
Me: I should have waited for tomorrow.
POM: Maybe.
Me: But that'd be gambling, right?
POM: I cannot guarantee anything.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Phone the Crows

I've recently had the joy of talking to a lot of utilities companies, one after the other. I will share with you my experiences. You are not allowed to refuse this sharing; just take it like a man.

Thames Water had the longest wait, and worst hold music. The most Geordie voice was supplied by BT, and the most chipper was provided by Alliance & Leicester. The most surprised to be receiving a call was Hackney Council, and the most likely to be the inspiration for an Eastern European work of allegorical fiction was TV Licensing. 0844 is the area code for the moon, isn't it?

The Onion knows my fears: Crows.

(Incidentally, I love it when articles from the Onion turn up on Snopes when people have forwarded Onion articles, and they then get accepted as the truth - I believe anything I hear
about crows, so I'd swallow this wholeheartedly. Crows...)

(photo from faithfull's flicker stream.)

Friday, February 13, 2009

Traffic Warden vs. Estate Agent

I'm flat-hunting at the moment. I'm not going to moan though. Let's just take that as read. I will, however, share with you an experience.

We were looking round a flat with Daniel, a fresh-faced estate agent. Just as we were coming out of the flat, there was a traffic warden ticketing Daniel's car. This sight almost literally blew my mind: A traffic warden ticketing an estate agent's car. In terms of moral conundrums involving stereotypes of most-reviled professions, that's like seeing a high-priced libel lawyer punching a tabloid journalist, or observing a politician receiving a telemarketing call.

(I've just googled 'most hated professions', and am disappointed to find that 'Richard Branson' doesn't feature amongst any of the top tens I could see. I assume this is some kind of statistical error.)

Postscript: With a little grovelling, Daniel got off his ticket. I'm going to apply for a slot on 'Thought for the Day' to discuss the moral meaning of this. Listen up!

Photo from Fin Fahey off Flickr.