Thursday, July 15, 2010

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11: New Features

I've been lucky enough to have had a go on the new Tiger Woods PGA 2011 game. I thought I'd run through some of the key differences between previous versions so you can see what's new:

  • New Contrition Mode: accurately simulates handwringing and looking rueful with new EA© Sorrowometer©
  • Fully Immersive Emergency Press Conference Mode featuring accurate simulations of top golf writers and seedy tabloid hacks.
  • 15% more shots of three-time US Open©-winner Tiger Woods looking stern and sad, as though his past indescretions weigh heavily upon his broad, successful shoulders (see picture above).
  • Now features no women golfers, just to be on the safe side.
  • New voiceover of your dead dad, expressing his dissapointment in you, after every shot you play.
  • New unlockable feature enables you to appease both sponsors and wife with a press release through your manager
  • New downloadable content allows you to keep your game up-to-date with the latest leaderboards, world rankings, weather conditions and steamy sex scandals.
  • Balls now harder to hit, reflecting your mental anguish.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Rage, Articulated Adequately

A mother who will now think twice before she insists they all go on a family visit to Grandma's again.