Saturday, September 24, 2005

Wassssuppp, internet? Sorry, I've been away for a while.

I feel like the king of kings at the moment. I've just cycled down Unlikelihood Rd, and all the lights were green and there was no dog shit or idiot pedestrians ambling about in the cycle lane. Today, I phoned up BT, and got them to remove a charge from my account. Yes, thank you, thank you. Through supreme use of logic, pertinent repetition, speaking loudly and clearly, and not getting pissed of and swearing, I managed to wear down the steely defence of the poor call-centre infinite-monkey-on-type-writer who had the misfortune to answer my call. Even the solid defence,'but Sir, it is BT policy to charge a reconnection fee of £10' fell before my steely sword of jusitice. And so, in conclusion: I'm the best.
I went to Berlin with L, which was fun. Germany is better than Britain for these following reasons:
  • Germans cycle everywhere, on the cute old-fashioned bikes, which makes everyone look sexy.
  • Germans patiently wait at traffic lights until they have turned green even if there is no traffic coming.
  • (and this is the clincher) When you are confronted by someone walking directly towards you, instead of doing that embarrassed shuffle where you both look like Allblacks doing that crazy war-dance before the stupid rugby match as you try and avoid each other, Germans always go to the right. Always. There hasn't been a collision on German pavements since, er, a certain difficult period in German history that perhaps I'd best not go into in this light-hearted page of frivolity. Ahem. Anyway, it's great.
Anyway, I'd best go. Stupid London.

1 comment:

  1. Have you read 'Watching the English' by Kate Fox? If you want to keep up this 'stupid London' attitude I suggest you read it. Every page I find myself thinking 'stupid English', it's quite amazing how many ingrained stupid social rules we all blindly follow.
    By the way, sorry about missing your party, I had a stomach bug and couldn't stand up without passing out due to being dehydrated - and the reason i kept trying to stand up was in order to go downstairs and get a drink to rehydrate. But i couldn't do it because I kept passing out. Not a good situation to be in when you live on your own...