Thursday, August 04, 2005

Have You Ever Put a Banana in a Croissant?

I saw a middle-aged man, pushing a buggy, surrounded by small children, all of whom were horrifyingly probably born in the Nineties. The late Nineties at that. One of them pipes up, 'I'm SO hungry.' The Greggs bags swing from the buggy, and the man asks, 'Have you ever put a banana in a croissant?', with much of the vocal delivery of a presenter on Playbus. I'm torn by this: do I revel in the innuendo, or do I stand and wonder what this would taste like?

Greggs has sold out of croissants by the time I get there.

I've been telling a lot of people that I've been woken up by builders recently. What I really should say though is that I've been woken by the sound of builders. It's not as though I've been roused from sleep by an offer of a cup of tea by a sweaty man in overalls while his workmate opens the curtains to let the light in and turns on Radio Four.

I'm not sure whether this would be more pleasant than being woken by various loud drills and diggers and trucks and shouting, though.
I was watching Curb Your Enthusiasm last night, and I thought I'd share this with you. They are in a car on a long journey.

Larry: "I dunno. D'ya think we really needed Alaska and Hawaii? Ah, they gotta ruin everything. They ruined the continental United States. Ruined it! We have a beautiful Pacific coast, Atlantic coast; that's the United States. You don't need more states. We're not the British Empire. What, they're trying to turn us into the British Empire. [pause] What is Puerto Rico, anyway?"
Sheryl: "Larry, please. I am trying to drive."

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