Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Uncle Jim and the Babies

A student yesterday went into one of the other offices in the building and asked for me by the name of 'Uncle Jim'. I like this, and would like to be referred to as 'Uncle Jim' from now on.

Until I get bored of it. But how likely is that?

Now, newborn babies can breathe underwater, so last night D and I were pondering how long you could keep a baby underwater. He seems to recall a Russian scientist who worked with keeping premature babies in tanks, but the internet let us down and didn't come up with any information. Does anyone have any information on this?

Also information on where to get giant tanks, and those nice underwater reeds you get.

Also information on where babies come from.



  1. well, I did a quick search and all I could come up with was this page on a discussion board. But at least you're not the only ones who have heard this! link

  2. Hmm. I just wanted a baby floating around in a tank in the front room, as a talking point at dinner parties. But it seems like The Man and also human physiology have once again got in my way.

    I'll have to go back to my human taxidermy idea. The recently dead stuffed and mounted in various fierce poses, teeth bared. Like they did with the Pope.

  3. Which raises the interesting question of how long a baby can be kept in a goldfish bowl? I, for one, would like to know. In theory, could you still breathe underwater as a teenager? Pregnant women, with an interest in the matter, should contact me via this website

  4. It depends how big the gold fish bowl is.

  5. Really, I suppose, what we need is a dedicated facility, with a steady stream of babies for figuring out such eternal questions as: 'does a baby raised underwater get really wrinkly? Will a baby whose only visual stimulus is Hayne's car-repair manuals be more dexterous than our control baby who reads the Very Hungry Caterpillar? Which animal is better at raising healthy ferral children: Wolves, sheep, kangaroos, monkeys or bears?'

    Just need to get that supply of babies sourced, and the McKenzie Institute of Infant Testing will be go.