Thursday, April 14, 2005

The Adventures of My T-Shirt (Feat. Deadpan Conversations With Other Administrators)

OK, I just bought a new t-shirt. It's had an eventful life so far.

Yesterday. I was waiting in the pub for L, and decided to change into the new t-shirt I'd bought (treat, eh?). I'm on my own in the pub, so I turn to the nearest guy, who's half of one of those quite drunk older Soho couples getting to know each other, and ask him to watch my stuff while I go to the toilet. When I come back:

Bearded Older Guy Who Watched My Stuff: Oh, you were quick. I thought you were going for a wee, but you just changed your t-shirt.
Me: Yes. It's been a hard day at work. It's the next best thing to showering, you know.
BOGWWMS: Oh, I know.

Cut to this morning. I've applied deodourant, and waited for ages, and dabbed at my armpits with a towel, and put on my t-shirt really carefully, and still I get a white mark on my new t-shirt. I'm comforted in my anguish, and I wash it, and you can't see any mark, but still, my whole day is ruined.

This afternoon. I'm in an 'awayday', which is like a meeting, but lasts all day. Having listened to administrators moan like billy-o about everything, it's time for some biscuits. They have chocolate biscuits, which improves my mood. An administrator who I don't know, but who has a very thick Spanish accent comes over:

Thickly Accented Spanish Administrator: Oh. I have seen you before. I meant to say. You are wearing a brown top and a green t-shirt.
Me: Yes, I am.
TASA: That is very good. It looks good.
Me: Thank you.
TASA: This is not something you see on a British man. On a Spansih man: yes. On a French man: also. Perhaps on a German man. But not on a British man. But it is good. These are colours that are good. Brown is only bought here when it is in fashion.
Me: I like brown. I wear a lot of it.

What an exciting day my t-shirt has had!

7 comments:

  1. Gosh that is exciting. I wish my clothes had lives as exciting!

    I've built the deodourant problem into my morning routine. I put it on whilst still wearing my nighty, then have a cup of tea. In that time it dries, then I can safetly put on any clothes.

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  2. This is all good.

    Where can I buy me a man-nightie?

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  3. Jimp,

    quick tip on the salvaging a top if it's got deodarant marks on in it - use the brush I've got in the bathroom that's supposed to be for exfoliating. It's good.

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  4. Thank you. Further tips can be found here. My favourite tip is where it says:

    Overall Tips:
    Let your deodorant dry before dressing.

    Cheers.

    I don't even wear deodourant (or is it deodorant) that often. I sweat very fragrantly. Honestly, you could bottle it and sell it in the Body Shop.

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  5. So cutting to the quick...you got hit on twice because you bought a tiny green t-shirt from American Apparel.

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  6. Erm, partially true. I'm not sure that man who talked about me weeing was hitting on me as such.

    Or is it?

    I'd feel a bit uneasy if all chat-up lines were about bodily functions, to be honest. It's just the old-fashioned Brit in me.

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  7. My "How am I dancing?" T-shirt went down a storm last night. Girls were literally dragging me onstage to dance with them. One man shouted up to me (I was on the stage) that he would text me tomorrow his considered judgement of my dancing; he didn't trust himself to properly judge in his drunken state. Oh, here's a text now...

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