The Adventures of My T-Shirt (Feat. Deadpan Conversations With Other Administrators)

OK, I just bought a new t-shirt. It's had an eventful life so far.

Yesterday. I was waiting in the pub for L, and decided to change into the new t-shirt I'd bought (treat, eh?). I'm on my own in the pub, so I turn to the nearest guy, who's half of one of those quite drunk older Soho couples getting to know each other, and ask him to watch my stuff while I go to the toilet. When I come back:

Bearded Older Guy Who Watched My Stuff: Oh, you were quick. I thought you were going for a wee, but you just changed your t-shirt.
Me: Yes. It's been a hard day at work. It's the next best thing to showering, you know.
BOGWWMS: Oh, I know.

Cut to this morning. I've applied deodourant, and waited for ages, and dabbed at my armpits with a towel, and put on my t-shirt really carefully, and still I get a white mark on my new t-shirt. I'm comforted in my anguish, and I wash it, and you can't see any mark, but still, my whole day is ruined.

This afternoon. I'm in an 'awayday', which is like a meeting, but lasts all day. Having listened to administrators moan like billy-o about everything, it's time for some biscuits. They have chocolate biscuits, which improves my mood. An administrator who I don't know, but who has a very thick Spanish accent comes over:

Thickly Accented Spanish Administrator: Oh. I have seen you before. I meant to say. You are wearing a brown top and a green t-shirt.
Me: Yes, I am.
TASA: That is very good. It looks good.
Me: Thank you.
TASA: This is not something you see on a British man. On a Spansih man: yes. On a French man: also. Perhaps on a German man. But not on a British man. But it is good. These are colours that are good. Brown is only bought here when it is in fashion.
Me: I like brown. I wear a lot of it.

What an exciting day my t-shirt has had!