Deadpan Conversations, vol 9
Student comes into the office, asks to borrow stapler.
Student: That's a nice stapler.
Me: Um-hum.
S: A really nice stapler.
Me: Oh yes.
S: I've got the same stapler.
Me: It really cuts down on the effort involved. [Demonstrates by effortlessly stapling 30-odd sheets of paper together]
S: Yes.
[Both look embarassed at the enjoyment we've gained from office products]
I've recently come under some criticism for not living up to my billing as The Angriest Man in Crouch End. So: Mushrooms are shit; Queen Victoria was a rubbish monarch; Orange is a poor, poor colour; Who'd want thin-slice marmalade - halfwits?; Who makes sellotape that you have to use scissors (or teeth) rather than tearing? How have we come so far, only to suffer from substandard barely functional stickytape; etc.
Oh, and this from the Onion is quite good on the Israeli-Palestinian situation. I remember seeing a large headline on some other site, in The Onion's style, saying:
ONION HEADLINE FUNNIER THAN STORY
It's true, y'know.
This blog can be used as a forum for venting spleen. Also, I've been told that a very therapeutic method is the primal scream technique.
ReplyDeleteAaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhlllllllbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaah!
I feel better lredy, lthough the '' key on my keybord hs broken. Dmn.
I'd contend that MacArthur's resolve, grit and spunk would make her ideally suited to the challenge of attempting to make a big bag of chips. Although I wouldn't want to eat them with all that grit and spunk in there... (c) The Two Ronnies
ReplyDelete