Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Roy Keane, The Musical

Wow. Roy Keane, the Musical. The man who took swearing to a new level with his request to Irish team manager Mick McCarthy to stick it up his bollocks. Wow. Get me tickets. Now. What a guy.

All this, and last night Newsnight went weird. In a segment about dry-land-avoider Ellen MacArthur, the presenter referred to her boat being sponsored by DIY giants B&Q by saying that she'd already undergone more trauma than most could cope with by spending 71 days in B&Q, and then talking about how posh the pastime is talked about the 'have-nots and the have-yachts'. The longest interview was with the woman from Dead Ringers who spends her time making fun of MacArthur. Ah, to be British is to mock those who strive to achieve. Although as her achievement seems to be not to have noticed that the quickest route from Falmouth to Falmouth is staying put, I think it puts her too close to Richard Branson in the shit forms of transport stakes. It's about as heroic as a man unicycling from Land's End to John O'Groats. Remember people: we beat David Blaine. We must use our power of ignoring pointless feats of endurance. They're only looking for attention.

3 comments:

  1. I'm in two minds about this one. On one hand I agree with Jim in that this is yet another pointless excerise carried out by a rich-kid with too much time on her hands and a never-satisfied ego.

    On the other hand - if people didn't do things like climb Everest and sail round the world we would never know what the human body was capable of, or what limits it has. It's nice to know we have it in us to climb Everst if we felt the need. Its also nice to know that no matter how miserable, pointless, hard and uncompromising a task is we are still stupid enough to carry on going without giving up.

    I think the more advanced lifeforms of the universe have probably by now adopted the Homer Simpson life strategy, summed up by his best two phrases: 'If at first you don't succeed give up', and 'trying is the first step towards failure'. Long live Homer!
    (phew long post....)

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  2. Fair point. It's nice to know what people can do if they put their mind to it. A quick browse through the Guinness Book of Records is informative (although human endeavour seems to include who can attach the most bulldog clips to their face).

    I'm just not sure it's that newsworthy. I can see it's very convenient space-filler for the media (intial story, lots of regular updates, possible stories about being humped by randy whales, building to a climactic story of success or abject failure - all somewhat more reliable copy than scouring Hansard for an MP saying something of interest). There's just something inside me that would rather see the headline:

    BIRD IN BOAT; NOTHING ACHIEVED

    I defend her right to swan about in boats, it's just I'd rather not have minute-by-minute updates. It would be nice if she'd put all that drive and ambition into doing something useful for others, but as I watch Premiership football without complaint, I don't think I can really attack her on this without a large-scale dinner party argument emerging, and I haven't drunk enough red wine this morning to get into one.

    I suppose if no-one was interested in it they wouldn't include it in the news (or at least I hope they wouldn't). I think I'll just get back to fuming quietly to myself.

    [mutters incoherently under breath]

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  3. Either that or they've adopted the "bugger it, that'll do" philosophy. Homer or Jimp, which one is truly the modern day Confucius?

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