Monday, February 07, 2005

My Perfect Cousin

Paying quarter attention to Radio 1, which I'm sure is the most most people can muster, they seem to be playing old songs, including at least two plays of The Housemartin's 'Happy Hour'. It's like Virgin Radio, in other words.

However, this gives me a good hook on which to hang one of my hobbyhorses (RSPCA please note: this is just a metaphor. I do not condone in any way the mismaltreatmentisation of animals). One of my favourite couplets ever comes from The Undertones' 'My Perfect Cousin'

His ma bought him a synthesiser/
Got the Human League in to adviser her
Has a pop reference in a pop lyric ever been as good as this?

No. It hasn't.


  1. well done for managing to get two 'most' 's in a row. I know a valid sentence with five 'and' 's in a row. Yes FIVE. I'll tell ya what it is if you're good.....

  2. Is it a story about two signwriters, perhaps? Writing a pub sign?

    I'll let you take it if you want to...

  3. Quite true. At the moment I'm engaged in a lecture tour of nurseries on the subject of Father Christmas is Just Your Mum and Dad Laughing at How Stupid You Are.

  4. Oops. Now I've started posting anonymously. Never can be too careful.

  5. Can one of you actually write the sentence, because despite my better judgement, I am actually intrigued.

    I seem to be doing more and more things against my better judgement, sometimes I wonder why I have judgement at all, if all I am going to do is go and ignore it...

  6. Far be it from me to steal Keri's thunder, but I can't let a person suffer under the burden of not knowing something as important as this:

    A sign-painter is working at his local pub The Chas and Dave, painting them a new sign. The landlord, a noted stickler for typographic clarity, comes up to him and says:

    "I don't think there's enough space in the sign, particluarly not between the 'Chas' and 'and' and 'and' and 'Dave'. Repaint it! Bloody signwriters, swan in here, steal my daughters, etc."

  7. well, my version is significantly different. Because the pub is actually called the 'pig and whistle' and the landlord wants the painter to paint fancy dividing lines between 'pig' and 'and', and 'and' and 'whistle.
    Well, its not really significantly different after all.

    But your version cannot be correct Jim, because the pub would be called 'Chaz 'n' Dave', not 'Chaz and Dave'. Ner ner ner.

  8. Pedantically correcting someone about the way 'Chas and Dave' is written is nothing to be proud of. And now there's so many references to Chas 'n' Dave on this webpage that it's bound to be visited by hoardes of Chas and Dave afficionados, desperate for fresh news about the cockney couple's career. Will they ever have a hit as big as 'Rabbit'? We can only hope and pray not.