Post of Limited Applicability

Hey, hands up out there who's moving house in the very near future? In the next week?

I am. And so is everyone I know. My every waking moment is swamped with this constant refrain: "Boxesboxesboxesboxes. Gotta get boxesboxesboxesboxes. Boxesboxesboxesboxes." I'm quite excited though.

Another worry on the horizon is the weight of tedious tedious administration moving house means. Aside from the various forms from the letting agents (the form we had to fill out through our letting agents, I swear on Morrissey's quiff, offered tick box choices:

Are you:
A pet owner?
A smoker?
A midnight toker?

Anyway, that really happened, but it was just an aside. Where was I? Oh yes, moaning...) there's the need to inform everyone about your new address. Banks, building societies, gyms, internet pornography providers, the Pope all need to be told. Well, my dwindling audience, you could probably do worse that try I Am Moving, a new service from the Royal Mail, which promises to take the drudgery out of the process. It seems to be ok so far...

(Note to people who live in my house: You'll need to set the 'flat no.' as 'Flat A' and the 'property no' as '16', as, like most databases, it is convinced that we don't exist.)

While I'm in the public service announcement kind of mood:

To remove chewing gum from hair, rub peanut butter (or peanut oil) into the gummy area. It will make a mess, but will take out the gum. Shampoo afterward.

And eat, presumably.