Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Brilliant Idea

Yes, that's right, I've got a brilliant idea.

There's thousands of sandwich shops across the land, right? And people hate sandwiches. You never see anyone eat one of them, do you? So, I buy them all up, and replace them with Takeaway Beans-on-Toast shops. Everyone loves beans on toast, and now they can enjoy them while walking down the High Street, Broadway or dual carriageway. I'm struggling over whether to call this empire

  • Toast-Haste
  • or
  • Bean & Gone.
I'm the Richard Branson who doesn't deserve a slow grisly death.

Any venture capitalists out there, or lonely widows, or idiot lottery winners, please get in contact with me in this Exciting Venture.


  1. Surely cheese on toast would be a much easier food to eat whilst walking down High Streets, Broadways dual carriageways (this is actually illegal but I'm sure with some welsh rarebit in your hand you'll get away with it)

  2. Ah, the old welsh rarebit legal immunity loophole, whereby any action performed whilst in the process of consuming a lovely cheese snack is considered outside the law's juristiction. It's the more fattening and tasty form of diplomatic immunity.


    Oh, and as for your suggestion: it has to be beans. Cheese & Gone? That wouldn't work.

  3. Well you walk down the Broadway slopping heinz beanz down your new hennes/topshop shirt...I'll open a drycleaners next door

  4. how about bean toasties? All nicely packaged up in toast so you won't spill beans everywhere.

    But I suppose it would be quite amusing hearing people walking along going 'ooops, I just spilled the beans'. Next door, at the cherry sundae shop can be heard cries of 'ooops, I just lost my cherry'. And then next-door-but-one, at the bucket factory, can be heard 'ooops, I just kicked the bucket'. I could go on.

  5. Now bean toasties are a favourite of mine but their fatal flaw is that when you bite into them you're guaranteed to burn your mouth and the shock is probably enough to make you drop the whole damn thing... this bean thing could cost the taxpayer an awful lot of extra money in street cleaning services...