Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Enthusiasm Uncurbable

I've spent a good deal too much time this morning in email conversation with a man over a small depiction of a false beard, and why 'Bill' isn't acceptable, but perhaps 'Donkey' is. This doesn't seem like a profitable use of my time, but it keeps me from setting off fire alarms or tickling people.

I hate when you're reading a book or into a tv programme and you start unconsciously aping the characters and their way of speaking. Worse still, their way of thinking. Having got over my Seinfeld problems of some weeks ago, when I was unable to say anything without a cheesy grin and an obvious punchline while conspicuously tucking in my shirts. I fear that Curb Your Enthusiasm will have a less positive effect. I provide an example from the show for reference:

Larry, the protagonist, is discussing with his wife a phone call he made. He was supposed to put in a good word with a tv boss for an ex-employee, but he argued with him instead when the tv boss said that he never watched Seinfeld. His wife suggests he compose a letter of apology:

Dear Prick,
I'm sorry you're a prick. I didn't know you were such a prick when I called you, but it really turned out that you were. In any event, could you please give this young man a job.
I found myself in a discussion with my housemates about lightbulbs (wild, eh? Who wouldn't want to be a late-twentysomething?), where the consensus was that as 100-watt bulbs cost the same as 60-watt bulbs, 'who the hell would want a 60-watt bulb?' I took umbrage at this, the upshot of which was that I announced that later I would be removing a 100-watt lightbulb from the landing outside my bedroom and replacing it with an energy-saving bulb. Which I later did.

Perhaps I'd better start reading and watching things with positive role models as their central characters.

Also, the blogger spellchecker has just suggested I replace all instances of 'lightbulb' with 'lustfully'. Its reasons are its own.


  1. And consequently when you go to the toilet you are now blinded by the brilliant light of a 100W Bulb placed in a very small mainly white room...

  2. The experience of the 100-watt lightbulb in the small white toilet - It's the nearest thing us heathens will get to seeing the Glory of God.

    I'm going to go out and buy as many low-wattage bulbs as I can, and go round replacing them. When we move out, I'll have to go round and take them all out again. What an artful metaphor for life.

  3. Well at least you can change the lightbulb in your bathroom! Grr.

  4. How many anonymous posters does it tkae eo cahnge a lightbulb in a bathroom?

  5. Oh no, my humour undone by typing errors...

  6. I checked, and the answer is:
    Only the System Administrator can change the lightbulb, because you're not authorised. And I can delete you if I so wished. Never forget that.
    Not that I don't appreciate the comments. It's that I could delete them, you understand.
    It also depends on how short the anonymous posters are. In this case, I'd say two, one standing on the other's shoulders, under my direction.
    I was about to write, standing on each other's shoulders, but I imagine that's best done in privacy, and is unlikely to get any lightbulbs changed, you damn contortionists.

  7. Who are all these anonymous people anyway?

    The closest I got to the glory of god was going up the escalator out of Swiss Cottage tube station (or somewhere therabouts). The walls were tiled white - I was going up an escalator and an unseen busker down the tunnel was playing a harp. It was a truely spiritual experience.