Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Enthusiasm Uncurbable

I've spent a good deal too much time this morning in email conversation with a man over a small depiction of a false beard, and why 'Bill' isn't acceptable, but perhaps 'Donkey' is. This doesn't seem like a profitable use of my time, but it keeps me from setting off fire alarms or tickling people.

I hate when you're reading a book or into a tv programme and you start unconsciously aping the characters and their way of speaking. Worse still, their way of thinking. Having got over my Seinfeld problems of some weeks ago, when I was unable to say anything without a cheesy grin and an obvious punchline while conspicuously tucking in my shirts. I fear that Curb Your Enthusiasm will have a less positive effect. I provide an example from the show for reference:

Larry, the protagonist, is discussing with his wife a phone call he made. He was supposed to put in a good word with a tv boss for an ex-employee, but he argued with him instead when the tv boss said that he never watched Seinfeld. His wife suggests he compose a letter of apology:

Dear Prick,
I'm sorry you're a prick. I didn't know you were such a prick when I called you, but it really turned out that you were. In any event, could you please give this young man a job.
I found myself in a discussion with my housemates about lightbulbs (wild, eh? Who wouldn't want to be a late-twentysomething?), where the consensus was that as 100-watt bulbs cost the same as 60-watt bulbs, 'who the hell would want a 60-watt bulb?' I took umbrage at this, the upshot of which was that I announced that later I would be removing a 100-watt lightbulb from the landing outside my bedroom and replacing it with an energy-saving bulb. Which I later did.

Perhaps I'd better start reading and watching things with positive role models as their central characters.

Also, the blogger spellchecker has just suggested I replace all instances of 'lightbulb' with 'lustfully'. Its reasons are its own.

7 comments:

  1. And consequently when you go to the toilet you are now blinded by the brilliant light of a 100W Bulb placed in a very small mainly white room...

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  2. The experience of the 100-watt lightbulb in the small white toilet - It's the nearest thing us heathens will get to seeing the Glory of God.

    I'm going to go out and buy as many low-wattage bulbs as I can, and go round replacing them. When we move out, I'll have to go round and take them all out again. What an artful metaphor for life.

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  3. Well at least you can change the lightbulb in your bathroom! Grr.

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  4. How many anonymous posters does it tkae eo cahnge a lightbulb in a bathroom?

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  5. Oh no, my humour undone by typing errors...

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  6. I checked, and the answer is:
    Only the System Administrator can change the lightbulb, because you're not authorised. And I can delete you if I so wished. Never forget that.
    Not that I don't appreciate the comments. It's that I could delete them, you understand.
    It also depends on how short the anonymous posters are. In this case, I'd say two, one standing on the other's shoulders, under my direction.
    I was about to write, standing on each other's shoulders, but I imagine that's best done in privacy, and is unlikely to get any lightbulbs changed, you damn contortionists.

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  7. Who are all these anonymous people anyway?

    The closest I got to the glory of god was going up the escalator out of Swiss Cottage tube station (or somewhere therabouts). The walls were tiled white - I was going up an escalator and an unseen busker down the tunnel was playing a harp. It was a truely spiritual experience.

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