Sunday, December 26, 2004

Near-Immediate Catchphrase Update: Wobs and IPCGM

Near-immediate update: Google currently has me listed as the 3rd most important person to be wishing people a 'merry wobs'. Get in on the ground floor, and overuse the expression until you seem like a pathetic twenty-something trying desperately to cling to the disappearing hooded top of youth, as well as annoying all those who love you, and baffling and alienating those who might.

As someone who constantly tries to gain worth from comparing themselves to his peers, I note that I'm better than a Belle & Sebastian fan, but less good, in the all-seeing eye of google, than someone called Liz.

Happier news, however, for lovers of neologisms comes with google's assessment of IPCGM. Google only lists its use in two places in correct context, so in your frantic and rather sad attempts to be hep and with it, you can at least be truly one of the pioneers. Use it in an email or forum post today, people. The top google entry for IPCGM can be discounted as a genuine use I think, unless some obscure coder working on an inventory maintenance programme really does think that a sub-routine he's written is political correctness gone mad.

Oh, and those of you with jobs. Yes, you. I have a task for you. If you do anything that is official, carries weight and prestige, then I will give purpose to your snivelling little lives. When you drag your mince pie filled arse back to work whenever that may be, make it one of your priorities to use the word 'cadaverous' in an officially published capacity, be it newsletters, webpages, signs, posters, inserted at random into a book you're publishing, unfurled on a giant banner at a conference or used in context in a piece you're writing for the Guardian. It's a good word, and doesn't get its due. Right this wrong! Let me know how you get on, and you'll make me beam paternally.


  1. That won't be too hard I suspect, seeing as I work for the NHS and cadavers bound apleanty. I've even had the fortune of meeting some of them (they're a docile bunch) and I regualarly use a book containing images of cadavers to help me find organs so I don't hit them with radiation.

  2. Not so strong jimp! More Cullum stuff appreciated. what about a campagn to find the most amusing graffiti???

  3. Too nerdy & of interest to no-one but the administrator of this site? Oh, I see your point.

    If there's to be cataloguing of anti-Cullum sentiment, I'm going to require the assistance of someone with a Travelcard, a camera phone, and a lot of time on their hands. Clue - there were some good ones at Oxford Circus last time I blundered through there.

    Also: my subtle and strange editing of the Jamie Cullum page on Wikipedia is still up. I feel bad about this, but not actually bad enough to do anything about it.