Philip French Watch, Vol 2

Well, a somewhat disappointing weekend from Philip French. No puns at all, unless you count the headline ('Grape Expectations'), which probably was written by a sub anyway. The only thing I feel that I need to bring to your attention is the final line of his review of Mondovino:

This dog is also notorious, apparently, for the power of his farts.

I'm hoping for better next week, Philip. At least one good pun or tantalising reminiscence, please.