Xmas CD!

Esteemed friends, it being the season that it is, I am generously donating my time, taste and blank CDs to the act of sending out my nationally famous Christmas Compilation CDs. Anyway, I'll be posting these out shortly. You should get one, unless I've forgotten you, in which case feel free to grouse, gripe, winge, whine and generally throw your toys out of your bloody pram, you big baby. I'll send you one, ok? Space being limited on the back of the cd packet, I offer you an extended discussion of each of the tracks, mixing fact and opinion as I see fit:

1.Annie:Chewing Gum
Hmm, good start. I don't know an awful lot about this song. It's great, though, isn't it?

[consults internet]

Oh, it's Richard X. That makes sense. It's great stark deadpan-delivery elctropop, and it gets my extended metaphor of the year award for the lyrics. Plus, she looks pretty.

2.Dogs Die In Hot Cars:paul newman’s eyes
Great Glasgow band, equal parts XTC and Talking Heads, with a bit of Orange Juice too. This is a good thing. The album Please Describe Yourself is equally fine, if not moreso.

3.belle & Sebastian:your cover’s blown

Double A-side that didn't get much in the way of radio play, but it's funky, which B&S aren't as a rule.

4.Magnetic fields:I thought you were my boyfriend
Electrpop! Whisper: I think he's gay. He likes concept albums. There was 69 Love Songs which was 69 love songs on a triple-album, but without letting the quality control slip too much, and this year's I, where all the song titles start with the letter I. My, he's urbane. Also, I've just (like half an hour ago) watched Pieces of April, a very funny and strange but touching black comedy, for which Stephen Merrit who is the Magnetic Fields wrote the soundtrack. Trivia!

5.warren zevon:werewolves of London
Released in 1978, this song has some of the best delivered lines I think I've ever heard. A-woo! Look at the lyrics. I've just bought his greatest hits as a present, and the sleevenotes are written by Will Self - that's a good sign, surely? It is my ambition for 2005 to eat at Lee Ho Fook's, although perhaps not beef chow mein. I'll have to see the menu first.

6.the killers:jenny was a friend of mine
These guys wish the '80s were still going on. Nice bass line.

7.Loretta lynn:Portland, Oregon
In which leading presentphobe Jack "White Stripes" White decides to revive the career of country singer Loretta Lynn by producing her album. This, the single, is the best thing on it, although the rest's quite good, except for the track where she (Glenn Hoddle style) blames the disabled for their condition. It's nice to listen to this track and imagine pasty haircut-dodger White getting it on with octagenarian Lynn. Oh no, it's not. Ugh.

I've taken the first 40 seconds of noodling off the start of the song, you lucky buggers.

8.the czars:little pink house
Man, this is good. It was hard to choose which track to put on. Overblown, isn't it? Album of the year? Possibly. I haven't decided yet.

9.al green:take me to the river
Nothing to do with 2004 except that I first heard it this year, having believed up until then that it was written by Talking Heads. I'm older and wiser.

10.nancy Sinatra:don’t let him waste your time
It's like a Pulp song (good) with Nancy Sinatra singing it (good), and the line "some skinny bitch walks by in hot pants" is just brilliant.

11.PJ Harvey:pocket knife
I'm getting a bit bored now. How many ways are there to say that a song's good? Go and buy the bloody album.

12.Johnny cash:father and son
He's dead, which is a shame. This is quite an affecting cover of the Cat Steven's song. His name is Johnny Cash...

13.sons & daughters:broken bones
...which segues beautifully into this band, who have a song called Johnny Cash. Which obviously isn't this song. This song has a better bass line.

14.nouvelle vague:just can’t get enough
First heard this while hungover in a pub, and it's just the sort of song you want to hear when you've had a rough weekend. When will people learn? If you're going to do a cover of a good song - for the love of Jesus, Mary and the Three Wise Men, do it bloody different. If you're doing a cover of a song that isn't good, I think you want to think about your motives more.

15.snow patrol:spitting games
Yeah, they're a bit anonymous and that, but at least they're not bloody Coldplay, or those awful corpses with haircuts, Keane. This song sounds like My Bloody Valentine trying to have a hit, which is no bad thing.

16.bison:fraggle rock
Friends of friends from Sheffield, but wait - listen! It's great isn't it? They have a website and are playing gigs dahn sarf in the new year. I may just go along...
17.nick cave:breathless
Speaking of gigs, I saw the best gig I've ever been to this year, Nick Cave at Brixton Academy. He's got such style, such a great croony voice, and a deftness with his lyrics that takes your breath away. The two new albums are well worth buying, should you get HMV vouchers from your aunt with all the cardigans.

BONUS TRACK! 18.Joe Tex:You're Right Ray Charles
By bonus track, I of course mean 'mistake on the track listing'. Anyway, Ray Charles died this year, and this is a track by Joe Tex commemorating what sounds like the skimpiest piece of advice ever offered, although Joe seems to have taken it to heart somewhat. However, if you make it funky enough, I'll listen to it.

19.rufus wainwright:oh what a world
I'm going to let this one talk for itself. I'd like to see him live. Hmm. The bastard written word makes it look like he's in the throws of a life-threatening disease. I hope that came across like I meant.