Side Effects

Now, popular prescription-only painkiller Co-dydramol provides me with today's interesting tit-bit of information. Here are the edited higlights of the side-effects:

• constipation
• difficulty in the passage of food throught guts
• abdominal pain (may be caused by spasm of the bile ducts)
• confusion
• drowsiness
• dizziness
• mood changes
• restlessness
• excitation
• headache [but it's a painkiller!]
• nightmares
• tolerance [only applicable if Richard Littlejohn or Anne Coulter]
• blurred or double vision
• extremely small pupils
• redness or flushed face
• increased sweating

and my own favourite

• drug fever

How did you score?
Between 1 and 3: You are a fiend with a constitution to be feared. Contact your nearest government agent to submit to further analysis and extensive tests on the effects of having vinegar rubbed into your eyes. Your Queen demands it.
Between 4 and 8: Your fear of rejection is holding you back. Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Please renew your subscription to Cosmoplitan immediately.
Between 8 and 12: Good. But have you tried mixing them with other drugs?
Between 12 and 17: Bingo!