Why I was late for work the other day; or Bobby Robson

Anyway, so I was late for work the other day. Big whoop. Yeah, tell it to the judge. I'd set all the relevant alarms, and I'd not even had a single drink the night before, but somehow, in my dreamy-dreamy-sleep-sleep state I'd managed to turn them off and continue with the dozing. I was having a dream wherein I was running a marathon (for charity, great guy that I am), and I was a teacher (which I amn't) and I knew that finishing the marathon would make me late for work, but hell, I had a marathon to finish. Being late for work as a teacher, as I know living with two (count 'em) teachers, is tantamount to killing your boss and then attending his funeral drunk and insulting his ugly wife and ugly kids. So, I was feeling this guilt, but the driving force was to finish this marathon. I wasn't winning the marathon. It wasn't one of those dreams. I was just running in it. I got to the finish line, tired, out of breath, and sweating. I then woke up, tired, out of breath, and sweating. I'd been woken up by a text message from my work colleague informing me that she'd be late because the Victoria line was down yet again(my emphasis). This didn't completely panic me, because my stereo, which is set to play Radio 4 from 7:29am, was already playing Desert Island Discs. There was a decrepit Geordie voice coming from the speakers, and I was trying to work out who it was. Yes! I'd established that it was probably Bobby Robson! This was my first acheivement of the morning. What a start! He was halfway through a somewhat rambling anecdote (as I myself am) aboot hoo he'd teeken a his players doon a cool mine, to teach them humility. The next record he played was Lady in Red, because, as he told me, he's an old romantic, which I listened to the entirity of before I realised that the novelty of listening to Desert Island Discs should be telling me that I was very late for work. So, in conclusion, this is why I was late for work. Bobby Robson, a marathon, and being a teacher. Surely that's enough?

Longest, and latest post ever. Yay!