Left-Handers and Violence
Interesting article in Nature about why the otherwise disadvantageous deviation of being left-handed continues to flourish despite being linked with reduced lifespan and low birthweight. Apparantly it's because they're better at fighting.
This reminds me of an assembly our Deputy Head gave at school once. He stood up and earnestly lectured us on the theme of Why Left-Handed People Are Not Evil, At Least Not Inherrently. In order to dispel this myth that no one in the room was under, he gave the examples of Stuart Pearce and John McEnroe. So that's that cleared up then. He was a strange man, our Deputy Head. I suspect he was terribly riddled with doubt and insecurities.
Excellent news! As the law requires us to "take the victim as we find him" anyone who dares to non-consensually touch me on the tube (why do weirdos always ride the victoria line?) will have to suffer the consequences of choosing a victim who is a left-hander and therefore more predisposed to violence than the average London commuter and I shall be exonerated from all assault charges because self-defence allows me to use reasonable force to protect myself, which in the world of a left-hander means pummelling the little freak against the window. [Note to Self: Breathe]
ReplyDeleteCycle to work: That way, the only person touching you up is yourself, although that would probably break several key sections of the Highway Code and Cycling Proficiency Test. Or have they taken the provisions against self-abuse out of the Highway Code? It's Political Correctness Gone Mad!
ReplyDeleteOn a similar track, I'm all for 'IPCGM!' becoming internet shorthand, joining such greats as LOL (laugh out loud), RTFM (Read The Freaking Manual), NSFW (Not Safe For Work), AAFYOBM (Actually A Forty-Year-Old Balding Man), and so on. I want support. Someone get me the editor of the Daily Mail on the phone! Or up against a wall blindfolded, I'm not fussy.
I'm really not fussy.